Keeping Portland Weird On Air

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This is Jello Biafra, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or stuck in line for oat milk at KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Brought to you by artisanal rainwater.

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This is Fred, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or in your aunt’s Subaru on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Now with 37% more irony.

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This is Jello, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or in a city council meeting pretending to care on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Curated in small batches you’ve never heard of.

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This is Fred Armisen, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or hiding from your kombucha starter on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. A station that composts its own feedback.

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Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos, or KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz, or KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland... yes that Portland... always free-range and locally grown.

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Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos, or KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz, or KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland... yes that Portland... playing only vinyl pressed before you were born.

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This is Jello, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or trapped in a focus group about the word “authentic” on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Your barista’s favorite station. 86-47

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This is Fred Armisen, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or balancing on a unicycle with a latte on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Powered by fixed-gear enthusiasm.

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This is Jello Biafra and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or workshopping your tote bag slogans on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Because your tote bag deserves better. Dianne Feinstein!

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This is Fred, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or hand-weaving bicycle seat covers on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Broadcasting from a repurposed kale warehouse.

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This is Jello, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or being told brunch is a form of activism on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. The soundtrack to your ethically foraged brunch.

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This is Fred Armisen, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or polishing your bespoke axe collection on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Straight from the land of beards and bespoke axes.

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This is Jello Biafra, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or at a protest where everyone’s holding iced matcha on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Organic, non-GMO, gluten-free radio waves.

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This is Jello, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or in a zoning meeting deciding how to keep Portland weird while raising rent on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Keeping Portland weird, one song at a time.

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This is Fred, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or ordering tacos from a food cart run by astrophysicists on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Approved by three out of four food carts.

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This is Jello Biafra, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or arguing about fair-trade coffee certification on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. The only station that pairs with a lavender latte.

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This is Fred Armisen, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or tasting airwaves aged in whiskey barrels on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Airwaves aged in reclaimed whiskey barrels.

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This is Jello, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or explaining to your landlord why rent control is “bad for small business” on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. As sustainable as your mason jar collection.

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This is Fred, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or waiting for the moon cycle to start your playlist on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Made fresh daily by local musicians and moon cycles.

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This is Jello Biafra, and you have been commandeered by Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or conscripted into sonic service on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Broadcasting revolution in between the artisan pickling segments. This is Jello Biafra, because Iggy Pop couldn’t get here in time for Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or to scream over the airwaves on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Where the stage dive never ends, it just lands in a coffee shop.

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This is Fred Armisen, and you are stuck on Pirate Cat Radio KPCR-LP 92.9FM in Los Gatos. Or installing a bike lane inside your living room on KMRT-LP 101.9FM in Santa Cruz. KVBE-LP 91.1FM up in Portland. Yes! That Portland. Where every playlist has a bike lane.